I'd finally, after years of denial, called my sin what it was - SIN.
And, by God's grace and with His help, had come to hate it for what it
was and what it was doing to me and my relationships - with the Lord,
with my wife, and with other women. A good start, to be sure, but it
still wasn't enough, I was still struggling with this sin. I needed to
take action in order to deal with this. And the next step also wasn't
an easy one. But I knew it was worth it, if I could get free of this
bondage to sin.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one
another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous
man can accomplish much." (James 5:16)
God had blessed me with a great bunch of Christian brothers
that I met with regularly. Once a week I had lunch with a group of men
from my church, North Way Christian Community. And I also met weekly
with a bunch of brethren at my job.
These meetings were times of powerful sharing among men who
wanted to be all that God created us to be, but we admitted our
struggles. We had been pretty open with each other, but I was kind of
afraid I would be taking it to a deeper level if I came clean about
this sin, and to be honest, I felt pretty ashamed and embarrassed. But
I knew I had to confess my sexual impurity and lust to them, for two
reasons. One, so that they could pray for me - I knew I couldn't
overcome this alone. And second, I wanted to be held accountable for my
actions. I wanted them to check up on me, and, if I got too close to
sliding even further into this sin, I needed someone who I could talk
to about it who would know what I was dealing with.
They did not judge me or treat me like I was a loser; these
guys sympathized with my struggle, and prayed for me. Just knowing that
they cared and were lifting me up to God helped immensely. Satan too
often uses the lies that we're alone in our struggles. First of all, he
tries to tell us we're the only one who has problems with our
particular sin, so that we feel helpless and wonder how God could
possibly love us or forgive us. This is so crippling, because when we
are in bondage like this, we need to run TOWARDS our loving Savior, not
away from Him. Jesus died for us specifically because we ARE sinners!
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with
our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are,
yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the
throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in
time of need." (Hebrews 4:15,16)
Then the adversary does a double whammy by making us afraid to
tell others, for fear they will reject us and think we're disgusting
losers. I knew that it was Satan trying to keep me afraid to speak up
about my struggle. He knows there's power in honest, open fellowship
and making yourself accountable to your brothers. But I am so thankful
that God helped me over that first uncomfortable hurdle.
So that gives us some more power points that I want to
emphasize. First and foremost, get into fellowship with Christian
brothers! I can't stress this enough!!! Satan will eat you up and spit
you out if you are trying to live the Christian walk on your own. Don't
put yourself through needless pain and misery by making you a target by
trying to be an island unto yourself. Fellowship is one of God's
wonderful and powerful gifts to us as believers. We were never created
to walk this walk of faith alone.
For those of you that have available to you a group of
Christian men who meet regularly, please join in with them, and you
will be blessed. Yes, it may be a little awkward at first, until you
all get used to each other and get to know each other. For those of you
who don't have anyone available to meet with (and I know there are
probably more than a few of you), pray and ask God to provide you with
the opportunity - at church, or at work, or even in the neighborhood
where you live. God knows your need of fellowship, and I believe He
wants you to be involved with others who can help your faith.
Mixed groups of men and women are fine, but there are a lot of
things you can't talk about in that situation. The meeting with men
from my church (which I stopped attending because of a Bible Study at
work) has now become "coed". I think that's great, but I never would
have been able to deal with the lust issue in that setting. You can't
have much accountability when you can't be honest and open about what
you're going through.
Next, don't be afraid to share what you're struggling with, if
the group consists of men you can trust, and who are open and honest.
You do have to be aware of the logistics of and reason for the group to
meet together. Some groups can be pretty superficial. There's nothing
wrong with that in and of itself, but that wouldn't be an appropriate
place to open up.
However, if your group is honest and vulnerable, then don't
listen to Satan's lie that you'll be rejected if you admit to your
struggles. If these brothers are human that you are meeting with (make
sure they can bend their pinkie fingers!), you'll probably be surprised
to hear that they struggle with the same things that you do, and may
even have some suggestions on how to deal with your situation. And
you'll be amazed at how powerful honest confession can be! Satan loves
secret lives, because in the dark, secret sins can grow like mushrooms.
Bring those things into the light, though, and the devil will soon have
to flee!
So now I've confessed my struggles with sin to my brothers, and
they're praying for me and holding me accountable. Satan is about to
lose the battle, but in order to try to distract me, he applies the
pressure even more, and gives it all he's got...
(to be continued ...)
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together inunity!" (Psalm 133:1)
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)