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Blessed is the man that receives the Heavenly Father as
Lord of his Life.
Blessed is the father that will lay
down his life for his wife and children.
Blessed is the
father that offers to wash the dishes and tend to the baby, so
mother can have a break, even after his long day at
work.
Blessed is the father that can attentively and
patiently listen when he gets home, to crying children, and an
exhausted and frustrated wife. Then be able with a smile, to
offer comforting and soothing words, regardless of his
feelings and frustrations.
Blessed is the father that
takes the time to read the Bible to his children and pray with
them, teaching them to receive his Heavenly Father as their
Lord.
Blessed is the father that disciplines his
children with love, making sure his life is a loving example
of his Heavenly Father.
Blessed is the father that can
patiently listen to his teenagers, when they are telling him
that he is too old and doesn't understand today's
world.
Blessed is the father that spends late nights
and lonely hours in intercessory prayer for his wife and
family, so he will be able to allow his Heavenly Father's
love, patience, longsuffering, meekness, temperance,
forbearance and forgiveness, to be seen and expressed in
demanding and opportune moments.
Blessed is the father
that is able to praise the Lord while the house has run amuck,
mending his families hurts, frustrations, disciplining, and
handling financial disruption, all the while, knowing the
right words to say in love.
Blessed is the father that
teaches and leads his family into becoming a Family of
God.
Blessed is this humbled father, this unselfish
man, who lovingly leads this home, as it has been taught to
him by the Heavenly father, through His son Jesus
Christ!
Amen
-- written by Rev. Joseph C.
Miller, 1997
Our homes are being destroyed for lack of
godly men who know their mission.
When the nation of
Israel was sinning and God was threatening to take them into
captivity, God showed the importance he placed on one
dedicated man:
"I looked for a man among them who would
build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of
the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.
So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my
fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have
done," declares the Sovereign LORD. (Ezekiel
22:30-31).
The Lord searches for righteous, godly men.
The city of Sodom would have been spared for ten righteous men
(Genesis 18:32), but God could not find even one righteous man
in Sodom. Does a godly man make a difference to a nation or to
a city? Absolutely! And a godly man makes a difference to a
family too. Are you a holy, courageous man on behalf of your
home? What does it mean to be a godly, righteous man to your
family? What is required of Christ's man in the
home?
The society in which we live has neglected to
teach men about their role in the home. The worldly view of a
man's role is that he should provide financially for his
family, but we shouldn't expect him to be very engaged with
home life. In spite of all our talk of feminism, we have left
the job of making a home and raising the kids to the female of
the household. The role of leadership, of teaching and
correcting the kids has fallen to the feminine side of our
society. This is both unwise and unbiblical. As a result our
homes are very weak and the enemy finds it very easy to
destroy our families through divorce, rebellion, addictions,
and child abuse.
What is God's view of a man's role in
the home? There are six Biblical missions for Christ's man in
the home. For a man coming from the world's point of view, the
Biblical role of the husband/father can at first appear
overwhelming. But take courage! God has genetically and
spiritually prepared men to fulfill these missions and God
never commands us to do something, that He will not also equip
us to do. Here is God's job description for the man of the
household.
1. The Man of the Household is to Keep
the Focus on the Mission
God said this about
Abraham, the father of the Jewish nation: "For I have chosen
him, so that he will direct his children and his household
after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right
and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what
he has promised him" (Genesis 18:19).
For what mission
did God chose Abraham? The mission of directing his household.
Men are to be the directors and managers of their household.
In speaking about the requirements for elders in the church,
Paul says to Timothy:
He must manage his own family
well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.
(1 Timothy 4:1). Men are uniquely suited for direction.
Directing is keeping the "mission" in mind. Your wife and kids
will sometimes get lost in the forest and it's your job to
keep the focus on the mission. What is the mission? Jewish
fathers were taught by the rabbis that their mission involved
four goals:
Goal #1: To pass on a living relationship
with the Lord God (Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Jeremiah 9:24;
Philippians 3:8-10).
Goal #2: To help your children
know the joy of obedience and the value of character (Genesis
18:19; Philippians 2:19-22).
Goal #3: To see your
children trained for life, i.e. skills for getting along in
the world (Proverbs 22:29).
Goal #4: To prepare your
children for marriage.
Father, it is your job to keep
the focus on these goals. In the midst of soccer schedules,
ballet performances, and school activities, you may need to be
the (sometimes) lone voice in the wilderness, keeping the
family focused on what is really important for this life and
the one to come.
One of the things that you can do to
help you family focus on the mission is to develop a Family
Mission Statement.
2. The Man of the Household is to
Be Involved as a Teacher
Almost all Scriptures in
the Bible about teaching children are addressed to fathers.
Proverbs 4:1-5 is an example: Listen, my sons, to a father's
instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you
sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. When I was a
boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of
my mother, he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with
all your heart; keep my commands and you will live."
In
order to teach your children you will need to:
Value
people over things, i.e. your children over computers, cars,
boats, or TV.
Teach about God. Teach about obedience.
Lead in home devotions.
Your kids will need to see you
excited about learning about God.
Expand your teaching
to include a trade for your children and to prepare them for
marriage.
The teaching we are speaking of centers more
around lifestyle teaching, than classroom instruction. The
calling in Deuteronomy 6 is to "talk about [God's
commandments] when you sit at home and when you walk along the
road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy
6:7).
Abraham's call included instruction: "For I have
chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his
household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what
is right and just" (Genesis 18:19).
The Jewish father
always taught his son a trade, so that he would be able to
make a living in the world. Even Jesus was taught a trade
(carpentry) by Joseph and a trade by His heavenly Father:
Didn't you know I'd be about my Father's business [trade] (a
literal translation of Luke 2:49). Ben Franklin said, "He that
hath a trade hath an estate."
As far as college is
concerned, save early and start late. They can work their way
through. Where their treasure is, is where their heart will
be.
3. The Man of the Household is to Provide for
His Family
If anyone does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy
5:8).
Work hard when you are at work. Choose your
occupations and employment wisely. Provide an ample budget to
your wife. Don't pinch pennies with her while you buy a
$15,000 bass boat.
4. When present, the Man of the
Household is to Take Over the Loving and Disciplining of the
Children
For you know that we dealt with each of
you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging,
comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who
calls you into his kingdom and glory (1 Thessalonians
2:11-12).
Fathers are to love their children with
encouragement and comfort. One of the ways you can do this is
by blessing your children. Jewish fathers gave their children
a fatherly blessing on each Sabbath and upon other occasions.
The fatherly blessing had 5 elements: touch, spoken words,
placing a high value on the child, envisioning a future for
the child, and commitment to fulfilling God's call on their
life. [For more on this see Gary Smalley's excellent book
entitled "The Blessing."] The fatherly blessing shows love for
your child.
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he
who loves him is careful to discipline him (Proverbs
13:24).
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to his death (Proverbs
19:18).
Correct your children. Use the 5 tools of
correction: negative reinforcement, logical consequences,
natural consequences, positive reinforcement, ignore the
behavior.
5. The Man of the Household is to Minister
to the Needs of His Wife
One of the most difficult
things for modern men to understand is how they are
responsible for their wives. As head of the household we have
a responsibility for the household, including the state of our
marriage.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,
cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and
to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain
or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In
this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own
bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one
ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just
as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This
is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the
church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he
loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband
(Ephesians 5:25-33).
Ask about her day each day. Be
sympathetic and encouraging. Provide stress relief. If she is
creating a home and caring for the children, then she is
making a sacrifice that few women are willing to
make.
6. The Man of the Household is to Protect His
Wife and Family
The father is a guardian for the
family. The fatherless lack a man to defend and protect them
(so God serves as their defender). Proverbs 23:10 shows the
role of fathers as defenders: Do not move an ancient boundary
stone or encroach on the fields of the fatherless, for their
Defender is strong; he will take up their case against
you.
What does a father defend his family
from?
From criticism - particularly opposition from
relatives.
From evil influences. How much social
contact will my family have and what form will it
take?
From the dangers of youthful desires. Take the
lead in courtship and dating.
From physical and
spiritual calamity. Pray for protection for your family: When
a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and
have his sons and daughters purified. Early in the morning he
would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking,
"Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their
hearts." This was Job’s regular custom (Job 1:5).
From
harmful contacts with teachers, counselors, and youth
leaders.
One courageous, godly man can do great
things:
Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, "Come,
let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows.
Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder
the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few." "Do all that
you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with
you heart and soul." Jonathan said, "Come, then; we will cross
over toward the men and let them see us. If they say to us,
'Wait there until we come to you,' we will stay where we are
and not go up to them. But if they say, 'Come up to us,' we
will climb up, because that will be our sign that the LORD has
given them into our hands."
So both of them showed themselves
to the Philistine outpost. "Look!" said the Philistines. "The
Hebrews are crawling out of the holes they were hiding in."
The men of the outpost shouted to Jonathan and his
armor-bearer, "Come up to us and we'll teach you a lesson." So
Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Climb up after me; the
LORD has given them into the hand of Israel." Jonathan climbed
up, using his hands and feet, with his armor-bearer right
behind him. The Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his
armor-bearer followed and killed behind him. In that first
attack Jonathan and his armor-bearer killed some twenty men in
an area of about half an acre. Then panic struck the whole
army--those in the camp and field, and those in the outposts
and raiding parties--and the ground shook.
It was a panic sent
by God. Saul's lookouts at Gibeah in Benjamin saw the army
melting away in all directions. Then Saul said to the men who
were with him, "Muster the forces and see who has left us."
When they did, it was Jonathan and his armor-bearer who were
not there. Saul said to Ahijah, "Bring the ark of God." (At
that time it was with the Israelites.) While Saul was talking
to the priest, the tumult in the Philistine camp increased
more and more. So Saul said to the priest, "Withdraw your
hand." Then Saul and all his men assembled and went to the
battle. They found the Philistines in total confusion,
striking each other with their swords.
Those Hebrews who had
previously been with the Philistines and had gone up with them
to their camp went over to the Israelites who were with Saul
and Jonathan. When all the Israelites who had hidden in the
hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were on the
run, they joined the battle in hot pursuit. So the LORD
rescued Israel that day. (1 Samuel 14:6-23 NIV)
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